The good and bad thing about fandoms is that you get introduced to other fandoms. You develop new fixations. After I started reading Narnia SLASH on Live Journal I was soon introduced to Skins, Merlin, The Lonely Island, The Kings of Leon, and.......the Jonas Brothers. And Demi Lovato. I was introduced to all these through loads of fangirly flailings by other members and mostly slash fan fiction. So yes, I stepped into the Disney fandom by a story about Joe and Nick Jonas secretly being in love with one another. For the record, after Narnia Slash nothing squicks me any more. The one fandom that’s kept me enraptured the longest – going as far as making me lie to my parents so I could stay behind a week to buy their shirt for H&M – was Tokio Hotel. I’d like to blame one of the authors on Livejournal for doing this to me. The girl has this deadly ability where her entries/writings make her obsessions live inside you. I was innocently going through her stories one day when I went to her page for an update and WHOOOM. Bill and Tom Kaulitz were happily looking back at me from the screen. I stared back, enchanted. To those who aren’t familiar with Tokio Hotel, Wikipedia has detailed entry about the band, or you can let me tell you that they’re a German pop rock band. I had abso-effing-lutely no idea I liked rock until I heard their song Scream. Please listen to Scream. That song is an auditory orgasm. If Scream is too scream-ish for you, heh, listen to Ich Bin Da. Or In Die Nacht. Before I mercilessly fangirl you guys, I have to do the mandatory pic spam: 
From left to right: Georg, Bill, Tom, and Gustav. By the way, and I have a feeling this isn't obvious, but Bill and Tom? Are twins. Georg and Gustav aren't related to each other at all aside from the fact they're homo sapien and German, but the whole band is so lovey dovey you'd be surprised they weren't family. There’s something you should know about TH member dynamics. Tom is the playboy who supposedly slept with 25 women the first month their first single came out, and Bill is the bashful virgin waiting for The One. Georg and Gustav fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. Of course there's the scandalous speculation that Bill's innocence is all for show. Go ahead and call me defensive, but I have a feeling when one’s been in show business since they were 13, they try to hang onto whatever innocence they can to keep themselves from breaking down. Granted Bill has Tom, but Tom likes playing with his innocence for a thrill. Bill doesn’t seem like that. The Twins and the G’s probably have the easiest time buying presents. All they have to do is collect the stuff thrown on stage by fans.
 Doesn't Georg look like someone who wouldn't panic if you got peanut butter all over his shoes but would go completely haywire if you touched his hair? 
GUSTAV = ANGRY SEX. FAN FICTION PEOPLE, FAN FICTION. STOP JUDGING ME. Oh yes, Tokio Hotel cares about the environment. No, I'm not being sarcastic, they really DO. Tom and Bill recently became vegetarians, and the G's.....well, I'm sure they're doing something. At least I know Gustav cares about the polar bear cub Knut. OH, DID YOU KNOW BILL AND TOM HAVE POLAR BEAR CUBS NAMED AFTER THEM AT THE BERLIN ZOO? The cubs in question: 
And if you think I just Googled a photo of a random pair of cubs, you insult me. Now time for Bill and his prettines:       He's not gay, by the way. Even if he is, I could care less. Just, forget all the stereotypes for a little while and admire his beauty. I've never seen a boy - or man, I suppose, he's 20 now - with such finesse. I like Bill without makeup and simple the best. You can see his graceful features better:  This one's my favorite, I can't explain why. 
 .....or you could see his graceful hands better. Probably no one knows this: the reason I cut my hair off was because I was inspired by Bill's openness to new styles. He's had his hair in a lion mane, straightened, then in dreads, and now, he has a mohawk. 
A) lion mane. 
B) straightened.   C) dreads. 
D) mohawk. These are probably they're most typical poses ever, but for some reason Gustav's face cracks me up. A few years back on a German talk show, a plastic surgeon called Bill the new Elizabeth Taylor. Whaddya think?  What makes being a TH fangirl even better, particularly if you're reading fic, is their managing team. And, OMG THEIR MANAGING TEAM IS SO HOT.  Ben Abel, their manager.  David Jost, on the right. He's credited as being their manager when he's actually part of the managing team. He's prolific for a brief stint as a rock star in the 90s:  Also, Tokio Hotel condoms FTW. 
Whoever designed these things......has a load of humor, considering Tom's probably the first to deplete them...... Okay I should stop making fun of Tom, it's not like he's manwhore all the time: 
He does other things, like making tea. (You should realize that was just a lame attempt on my part to insert a photo of him with black dreads.) (Anyways.) (Ignore that.) One day I will go to a Tokio Hotel concert wearing a pencil skirt, their band shirt and Converse. The outfit may change……but anyways, I plan to go to a Tokio Hotel concert. And maybe to the signing session afterwards so I could give Bill a card saying Looking at beautiful people makes me happy. So thank you for being so beautiful! I mean it too! Bill’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. His beauty is fierce, the kind molded from intensely believing in one’s ability to be magnificent.
Hm. When I think about it, I wasn’t properly introduced to the fandom until I read Committed by underrockroll on tokiohotelfanfiction.net. Committed took place in an alternate universe where Tom is forced to do community service at a mental institution after being arrested for a DUI. On his first day there he meets Bill, a patient who’s suffering post traumatic stress disorder after a car accident. Tom is fascinated by Bill’s fixation with a porcelain doll he carries around as a surrogate for the baby sister he lost in the accident, eventually growing enchanted with the boy himself. Both boys find escapes in one another. Those escapes become homes. It’s a beautiful, beautiful story.
After that I kept reading. In that one month I didn’t have my internet for a month in Fresno I used my iPhone to read Tokio Hotel fan fiction. I find it disturbing how close one feels to the actual people once you read about them involved with one another, may it be romantically, sexually, or hilariously. Now, I don’t believe Tom and Bill are actually romantically involved, but I do think they’re lovers of sorts. Okay, that’s an extension of my argument of how I think friends are like lovers in that there’s an element of genuine admiration and attachment involved, but without the romantic implications. Bill and Tom are the closest brothers I’ve seen, and if it’s because they’re twins or that they’re home for each other in a homeless lifestyle, the reasons don’t diminish the genuine affection they regard each other with. At the end of concerts the twins do a song with only them on stage called In Die Nacht (In the Night). Bill wrote it to express his love for Tom. It’s THEIR song. People on LJ have a heyday flailing about how it’s proof they’re screwing each other, but to me it’s a love song, a soul song. Reading fan fiction really screws with your head though. After reading one particularly intense story about how Tokio Hotel dissolves when the twins’ relationship is discovered, I spent a whole afternoon Youtubing and Flickering to see their happy faces, just so I could assure myself they were safe and happy. Fanfiction made me feel closer to the band members too. In the end they’re all fiction, yet that fiction took its roots from the actual essence of those people. Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav – they all served as agents for experiencing new characters and new emotions. Fan fiction isn’t about fulfilling fangirly fantasies as much as it’s a hand to hold, knowing that hand is going to spin you round and round, surrounding you with a new, dizzying cosmos. It’s after connecting the dots in that new cosmos one’s left with questions. Those questions are answered with the stories authors work so hard to write. One thing I’d like to say is that the band members’ sexuality doesn’t matter to me. Bill and Tom could be involved with one another, hell, the whole band can be involved with one another and I wouldn’t love them less. This inability to love them less despite what they do (even Bill getting dreads) is proof of my genuine admiration. And I do admire them. I love how they give so much time to their fans despite the terrible stalking episode a few months ago. I admire their sincerity in interviews, Bill’s quirkiness, Gustav’s sarcasm, Tom’s humor, Georg’s easy-going nature. Confession: Georg is my favorite. He’s always so adorable and easy-going. I friggin’ want to hug the screen when he talks. Fod, I love the G’s. Of course I love the Twins too, but they can be attention-whorey. For some reason that makes me love them more (WTF?). Truthfully, I've read so many stories about Bill and Tom being in love with one another that I woulnd't feel anything but affection and respect if they are. Okay, there’s a difference between being involved with one another and being in love. It’s possible to be in love with someone without being involved with them. Love doesn’t have to be put into a box, categorized. Love ought be left as a feeling of utter rightness saturating one’s being. The Twins look so blissful in each other’s presence. They’re in love.
I’m expecting half the entries on this entry to be 'Ha, okay you loser' and the other half to be WAIT, BILL IS A GUY? COMMENT ALREADY, I HAVE NO SHAME LEFT. | 
, Bollywood, Kabuki theatre, paleobiology, surgery scissors, The Beatles, The Kings of Leon, The Mighty Boosh, medical ethnobotany, and classical Japanese literature?
